Laughter and Life – a morning with Patch Adams

Last week I had an assignment due on laughter as a tool in our wellness toolbox. I spent a blissful hour reading a chapter in our textbook by Dr Hunter Adams, the real doctor behind the Robin Williams character in the famous Patch Adams movie.

Here are some of his thoughts which struck me:

1)    “To be healthy is to have a body toned to its maximum performance potential, a clear mind exploding with wonder and curiosity and a spirit happy and at peace with the world” – Doesn't this delicious description make you want it?

2)    “Life is a cascade of choices, and we are an expression of both the short term and the long term choices we make.” – What a wonderful phase, a cascade of choices. In these times, we have an overload of choices, of options, and that actually makes it more difficult in many ways because we constantly question the ones we make and wonder “what if we’d made a different one”. Whereas if we don't have a huge selection of choices, we tend to accept our choice and get on with making the most of it, focusing more on the outcome and therefore more likely to enjoy the process and feel more satisfied with the journey.

3)    “If love is the foundation for happiness, then fun, play and laughter are the vehicles for its expression.” – So true and created such a wonderful image in my mind of little fun coloured cars zipping around a map of love with a soundtrack of giggles.

4)    . . .”so few adults I have spoken with speak of life as a wondrous zestful journey, and most illnesses seen by a family doctor have a huge lifestyle component, frustrating the physician because they could have been prevented with self-care.” – We live in a time where this is unfortunately even more true but we’re fortunate that the wellness movement gives us so many wonderful tools with which to tinker with our wellness and take better care of ourselves so we can appreciate the wondrous zestful journey of life.

5)    And some myths about laughter that according to Dr Adams keep us from laughing:

a.    That we need a reason to laugh – oh, no. Laughter for no reason is the best kind!

b.    That we laugh because we are happy – the reality is that we are happy because we laugh!

c.  A sense of humour is the same thing as laughter – wrong! They are very different processes. Laughter just takes a willingness to let go and enjoy yourself. If you haven’t tried laughter yoga, go ahead and try it! It is an incredibly freeing experience and will keep a smile on your face all day!

I hope to share my laughter article with you at some stage. In the meantime, go out and have a great laugh. You’ll be happy you did! I’m off to get watch the Patch Adams movie again!

Our marriage is like the New iPad – more of the same, including more of the amazingness!

The night before leaving Australia after a wonderfully inspiring and challenging month in Australia with my gorgeous husband, I had dinner with my amazing friend, Fleur. She was telling me how her brother-in-law had reflected on Adam and my current life apart and concluded that he could never be away from his wife like that as they are too much in love and too close. This shook me initially because I would have described me and Adam like that a few years ago. I’d still describe us as close and incredibly in love – just following our mutual dreams in different locations for a while. But I actually think this 18 months of living apart has strengthened each of us and therefore our relationship in many ways. We have learned to be independent, strong in new ways, but because our relationship is so strong, our newfound independence made us stronger together too – sure our relationship has changed and we have some rebuilding to do but in a great way, full of possibilities.

Never once have I doubted that that we’re meant to be together and will be together. That’s a given. But if you’d told me that I could live on my own in Nepal, raise 2 amazing Nepali daughters on my own, run Mitrataa and a children’s home with 200 kids, I'd have laughed and thought you were crazier than I was! I was the cherished one, the one who was supported and inspired by my incredible husband. But now I have that amazing gift of unconditional support together with knowing myself, how much I can handle, how strong and driven I can be. What an incredible combination. Adam also now knows what he can do, how he can inspire himself and create something amazing. And that I can survive without him which is freeing for him – but he also knows how much I need him, we need each other in an even healthier way now.

So we get to rebuild – same blocks, and a few new ones to add, a wonderful new version of our relationship. That’s not to say it was broken and needed fixing – it was amazing already. But now it’s even more so – and deeper and stronger and richer with our daughters as well. Kind of like the iPad really – the first version was amazing and we all thought it was the best thing ever – but while we swooned, Apple didn't stop and pat themselves on the back for long and say ‘Our job is done.’ They kept innovating, developing, stretching, building on what was working and leaving out the bits that didn't. The result – the latest New iPad is . . . well, more of the same; including MORE of the amazing, blowing us away again. As it is with our relationship – no doubt there will continue to be new versions of the iPad. And our relationship will continue to grow too. How lucky am I! Thanks to my gorgeous husband for being so amazing!

Who cares about the hole in the path? Go around it and discover the pleasure of walking on the grass!

Sitting on the plane returning to Kathmandu and indulging in reading the August issue of O Magazine. There is a section of 10 quizzes designed to help you get to know yourself; ranging from “How do you find joy?” to “How much stress can you take?”. I was drawn by the page with the big, empty white box in the middle, empowered through its separation from the words around it by a three-lined grey border. My eyes returned to the top of the page to see what it would teach me about myself – “What’s your best problem solving approach?”

Part 1, the instructions read: “Think of a dilemma you’re currently facing.” Which one, I giggle to myself. “Now quickly push it aside and switch mental gears: Imagine you’re walking through a park when you come to a hole in the ground blocking your path. In the space below [ah, the gorgeous box!], sketch a scene that illustrates how you manage to continue on your way.”

Once I overcame the fear of sketching anything, I thought, “Well, that’s easy, what’s so hard. You simply step off the path, go on the grass around the hole and rejoin the path on the other side!”

Part 2, the instructions continued: “The way you drew yourself getting past the hole – whether on a tree-branch bridge or in a hot air balloon – may give you a new perspective on getting past the obstacle you’re facing in real life.” Insert screeching tyres sound here – Hgh? Hot air balloon? Who’s making such a big deal out of a little hole in the road?!

Then the article asks a series of questions:

·         “Q. How big is the hole? If it is more like a ditch than a canyon, maybe your real world problem isn’t as severe as you thought.”

·         “Q. Did you use the environment around you to get across the hole? If so, you might benefit from friends/family/counselling support.”

·         “Q. Did you draw your picture quickly? If you were guided by instinct, trust your gut. But if you took your time to think, you might want to learn more about your problem before you continue.”

·         “Q. Did you take a risk, a leap of faith? Bold action just might move you closer to your goal.”

Ah, this made me laugh! For me, it was just a hole, so go off the path and walk around it. No big deal, there will no doubt be more; and who needs the path anyway? Enjoy the feeling of the grass underfoot for a moment and rejoin the path on the other side if you like – or don’t. Maybe continue on the grass! Sure it has its risks – it’s a bumpier ride, you might get lost etc. But it feels amazing and who knows what you’ll find! Besides the path, while clear and sure to get you to the other side, had its holes too, right? And isn’t the purpose to enjoy the park, not get to the other side the fastest?